Saturday, January 20, 2007
ok.. i noe i havent been blogging for quite a while.. but i've been thinking alot lately.. erm.. as usual im always thinking.. but sometimes i really wonder if what goes thru my head is useful or juz plain crap.. lol.. anw.. i havent really tasted the true essence of life.. like how i used to when i wasnt so exposed to the world.. now i really understand and appreciate my primary skool days.. when i was not exactly exposed to the outside world and where my world mainly comprised of study.. very possibly thats e reason y i could put my heart and soul into wad i was doing..
when new and more interesting things steps into ur life, u'll feel that the old things start to lose its interesting edge and u shift ur focus to the other more fun stuff.. and prolly thats where i started to lose my interest and passion for studying.. which explains y my grades plummeted..
its really hard if u have to support urself when u dun really noe how to face and overcome ur worst nightmare.. u're all alone..
somehow or rather the things happening around me havent been really registered into my head.. which is so unlike me last time.. and it was ocip that alerted me about this "problem" i kinda developed.. unwillingly.. yes, im glad ocip happened as a form of remedy for my problem.. and no, im sad that i missed out the entire experience altogether.. its seriously a pity.. and everything i look up at the sky.. it somehow reminds me of the day we departed for ocip.. we amongst the skylit clouds..
i couldnt feel wad i would normally feel!!! darn sad la.. i guess my life's like kinda stuck at that point.. yea.. im both glad and sad it happened..
when i was in p5/6, or maybe even earlier, i had this strange thing in my mind.. something indescribable, and e closet i can get is by describing it as black and white.. i dunno what it means, up to today, when i hope ive finally realised it.. man.. im in j2 now.. and that happened in p5?
ok.. thats was e emo part.. oh and seriously.. thinking too much and too deep really promotes migraine.. im serious.. but i cant help it.. u tink i wanna think so much? i juz wanna relief myself from the dire plight im in.. thats all.. i wanna return to life and enjoy the most out of it.. and at the same time being God-oriented.. otherwise everything that had happened which wasnt to would be completely rendered futile, in vain..
ok.. now to the earth part.. went to pulau ubin to cycle with the odacians on fri.. my 1st time cycling in ubin.. yep.. tot we could dodge the mozzies from attacking us cos we would most of the time be moving.. but.. in ubin.. the mozzies r the king of the island.. wonder how the ppl living in the island can tahan the mozzies.. or it seems like dey dun even get bitten liddat.. lol.. ubin's a really fun place to cycle.. the terrain's like so unlike ECP la.. pasir ris la.. ubin owns all la.. the terrain is simply darn shiok to cycle.. but of cos safety 1st la.. thank goodness dere was a group of cyclists who attended to our aid when someone was terribly injured.. yea.. started to rain at ard 6pm and it was really cool to cycle in the rain.. i mean like.. how often do u get to do that? haha.. oh my.. the downhills r simply irresistable la!! i wouldnt mind going back up juz to enjoy that few seconds of sheer fun and excitement.. now u dun get that in Singapore.. lol..
everything that happens in life is only fully redeemed if u lived it in that moment... if u lived it 100%.. otherwise it will never be fully redeemed..
life is constantly on the move, and one day we'll leave e face of the earth, so being too nostalgic isnt really a good idea..
tho things might be happening and i might seem to respond to them, i cant fully feel the expericence... i wonder who's has been in my shoes b4... im torn apart, God and the world...... someone help me..... pls...
j0hN =) {11:42 PM}
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
1-1-07
woke up kinda late last morning... well.. guess i gotta say goodbye to late mornings alr.. skool's starting real soon.. talk bout tests... lol.. anw.. had hor fun for brunch.. and at the same time watched Tokyo Drift on dvd... woa.. shit man.. i wanna learn how to drift.. i mean.. in real life.. stepping on the brakes(or do they use E brake?) and frantically spinning the sterring wheel.. and darn.. the cars look friggin' cool la!! thats wad i call "zhng".. lol.. no seriously.. i wanna learn drifting.. cool.. lol.. haha..
went with dad to purchase two pairs of mizuno shoes at heartland.. first to world of sports den to sportslink.. lol.. so coincidental to have met ling jia and her guitar friend.. haha.. yep.. i gotta admit it im finally glad to own a pair of proper running shoes cos otherwise i'd have to run around with my dunks.. lol.. and there was like 50% disc. on some of the mizuno shoes.. saw this really flashy, bright orange mizuno shoe but unfortunately they didnt have my size.. oh well.. had to settle for some other designs eventually.. some say mizuno shoes r really good.. so i gotta see it for myself.. haha.. oh and i've learnt to prioritise comfortablity before design.. its like looking at ppl's inner beauty instead of their outward appearance... yep.. ok crap.. wadeva.. lol.. haha..
went to por por's hse after that.. kinda wonder it's been a while since i stepped into the apartment.. yea.. after dinner at her place.. family and i went to heartland mall to get one of the 2 pairs of mizuno shoes to be changed.. from a size 9 to a size 9.5.. so now i own both pairs of mizuno shoes.. yay.. haha.. lol.. so dad settled for the asics shoes he bought previously..
watched Murder 8y Numbers on dvd to call it a day.. the show's not that good la.. i would say.. watch it if u had nth better else to do.. lol..
31-12-06
went to meet sean for a game of pool at hougang plaza at 4.30pm.. and i felt kinda uneasy wearing jeans firstly cos the jeans were kinda too loose so it felt like it kept dropping and secondly.. im not used to wearing jeans after having wore board shorts practically the whole time.. lol.. that day wasnt my day.. lose every single game of pool to sean.. wad the... juz not my day.. moral so down man.. lol.. following that we went to hougang mall for dinner at pepper lunch express.. den sean had to go grab a new pair of earplugs.. hmm.. it took me quite a while to figure that we were kinda the last few customers for the day as harvey norman was closing shop for the day.. apparently cos of the new years' day eve thingy.. yea..
headed down to church for watchnight service.. but this time it didnt feel like the usual mood i had for every watchnight service.. i asked God for signs to help me move on in life and stop looking back at the past.. yea.. had recollections of the happenings in church in 2006.. well.. time really flew and b4 we knew it.. it was alr 12.00am.. had a fun time singing praise songs and that kinda marked the end of watchnight service.. went for supper at the usual roti prata stall after that.. went home and went online till around 4 plus b4 i entered dreamland...
for the last time.. i'd be typing "06" for my dates..
30-12-06
woke up to finish wrapping the so-belated christmas presents b4 heading down to church for wei cheun's wedding.. haha.. our much anticipated day has finally arrived.. yep.. then again.. time really flies huh.. yea.. been talking abt it and the day has finally arrived..
that day was the last day i'd be a leader in YPM.. sitting in room 204 and talking to them about the sermon that was earlier preached.. well.. you could say that it was really an experience.. an experience of teaching the younger ones.. yea.. 1 thing that i admire about them is their unity.. between the guys and the gals.. cmon.. they're only sec 1s.. and they've learnt to bond so well..
played abit of bball.. and in long pants and long sleeve.. lol.. smart.. and i kinda injured my right knee.. lol.. thank goodness there was the long pants..
went to pepper lunch express at hougang mall for dinner.. initially we wanted LJS cos of the cajun chix meal.. but we changed our minds at the last minute.. after dinner we went to play pool at hougang plaza.. well.. that marks the end of the day..
j0hN =) {11:40 AM}
