well... another day has passed... and i've gotten back all my results... dun wanna talk bout it... but after all, i mean i deserved it i guess... wel... not exactly actually... some incidents actually took place during the earlier part of the year which kinda diverted me away from wad was more important - my studies... well... perhaps it was a moment's folly that got me carried away... anw... i cant turn back time... no use crying over spilt milk... wad's done cannot be undone...
juz gotta continue from here... i feel so lost... i dunno where to start... where to begin picking up the pieces... probably thats wad refraining me from returning to reality... John! Wake Up! the clock's still ticking... time is passing... but i've come to a standstill... sounds dramatic? well.. it isnt when the exact same thing is happening to u... or rather... me for that matter... chanced upon ms chua(my form teacher) while walking to the foyer... she said she will help put in good words for me... but i have to ask myself this ques... do i really wanna promote or retain? assuming the principle allows me to be promoted that is... i seriously dun wanna waste another year of my life... we're talkin bout a year here alright... not juz 6 mths of wad... but it's necessary to examine wad actually made me fall... i guess it might be me being enthralled in the world of thinking and thinking... reflecting and reflecting... that robbed me of time to attend to other businesses... hmm... i dun rmb experiencing such an appalling encounter as this when i was in sec skool... and i rmb passing most of my subjects... unlike my JC results... so if i could only spend less time thinking and thinking and spend more time studying maybe i'll see a miracle happen... yea... oh ya... another thing.. im not sure if u guys have ever experienced this b4 but there's such a thing as "self-lagging"... which means u juz dun care bout anything alr... even tho everything's still taking place... so its like... ur body's present but ur mind and soul is somewhere else... yea... so i've gotta "unlagg" myself so that i can revert back to my usual self... but its truly easier said than done... cos it has kinda like become ur default mode... usually ppl's default mode is "unlagg"... yup... hope u catch wad im saying... haha...

i feel so guilty not excelling in chemistry... i mean... despite all the hardwork mrs neo has put in and in spite of the chances after chances she gave me (its not veh obvious but i can feel it) i still have not turned over a new leaf... i feel so bad cos she hasnt even chided me once this whole year and apparently i've kinda taken advantage of her soft side... haiz... she's a nice lady... dunno how to face her anymore...

oh ya... another disappointing event that occurred today was that i did below my GP expectation!!! grr... initially i tot it wasnt really a prob... tho i muz admit it was tough... but after i saw my own results with my own eyes, i could barely accept the fact... the horrendous fact... even new was kinda disappointed in me... haiz... wad proved to be promising eventually turned out to be nothing...

anw... after collecting all the papers for the day... the usual group of us went to get our arms jabbed with injection... but not literally jab... yea... the initial sight of the 3 doctors alr sent shivers down our spines... to our horror... we were like going to be jabbed on both arms simultaneously... woa... thats sth new for sure... one jab was for influenza while the other was for hep A... yup... darn... my arms still hurting from the jab... wonder is it supposed to be like tat after u've had a jab?

after the jab... went to help out with the packing of the stuffs for ocip... wow... there was actually quite some stuff donated... pack and pack... after packing... we realised we had alr used up like 10 ah mah bags for storing the stuffs... oh ya... at least im sure im still going for the trip irregardless of whether i retain or not... yup... then we headed to TM to eat crispy chicken... as usual... but this time with lesser chilli... oh ya.. went to try out the Tontoro Pork... not bad... quite nice... feel like eating famous amos cookies... after that... we left for home... took the bus 27 and 80 tis time with MK and nic... still own them 1 more time... no interest!!! haha.. oh that reminds me... i gotta go get the concession...

hmm... i've created a hypothesis today... but im not sure if its true not... i find that ppl who are in the not-so-good skools, dey actually have a heart for ppl... unlike those in the top-notch skools where all they care about is their academics and not really bother bout genuine friendships, etc... i mean... i would rather make friends who sincerely appreciate friendships... and somehow or rather... i find that there is a link between not appreciating friendships and not having a life...

maybe another reason y i was placed in TPJC is because it acts as a cushion to my downfall... imagine if i were to be studying in some good institution... and coupled with the "burden" im carrying... im afraid i might juz find life so much more strenuous and exhausting... and having to suffer a greater degree of severity... in terms of academic... which means i'll most likely be retained...

i shall let His Word do the thinking for me from now onwards... which means entrusting my life to Him... cos i've been foolish enough to lean on my own understanding... which is a far cry from wad God has prepared and planned for me... darn... y din i tink of this much earlier? and as for my part... i'll concentrate on my studies for now... and if i happen to tink again... i'll not take it so seriously anymore...

Think = Processing many tots in ur mind...

Many happenings are orchestrated by satan thru the folly of man, but God has allowed it for a purpose.

john ho jun wei
male
17
5-9-89
B+
Hougang-Kovan
johnny757@hotmail.com
rmps, sas(up and on!), tpjc
odacian
chinese

God
eating!!
sleeping
sports
daydreaming/stoning
my friends
holidays
orange
music
beatboxing ( obviously i cant... haha... )
gossip sessions ( haha *grins* )
going overseas for hols!!! (would be beta if it were juz friends without any adults around) :D

Create your own message at BlingyBlob.com

Ling Jia
Rain
Sheena
Iven Peh
Sean Chew
Dorcia
Jon Neo
Sabree
Eliz Thia
George Ho
Ken Soh
Shuey
Sophia Ling
Cady
Stefanie Thia
MK
Hanif
Jing Hao
Jia Qi
Siyu
Kenny Chew
Mallory
Clarissa
Liyan
Zi Jie
Liyi
Shaun Lee
Zhi Han
Jazreel
Aruna
Joanne
Dai Hong
mich tham

designer | kathleen(:
fonts | dafont
host | imageshack

Get a Web Counter

October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007